With no offence to anybody…

I had to write this down.

I am an ordinary girl born into a family of dreams that have not been realised…a typical middle class family you’d say. So be it. They sent me to the best school in the world…a school that nurtured some extraordinariness out of me. I won’t be humble here and I will say that I managed to stand out in a crowd. And expectations grew. Understandably so.

But I was never interested in the jetsetter’s life. Probably never had ambition. Loved the limelight whenever I managed a feat, but I was happy with that. I wasn’t like you, who can work 12 hours a day…neither like you who can study for those 12 hours. I work at my own pace… I do my own thing. If you compare me to this world, you will label me a loser… the one who got left far behind. I used to mind… a lot. For someone who is not used to criticism, this hurts.

I come from a family facing a lot of hardships. You could say it’s tragic. Yet I probably never worked hard enough to make it to the list of rags to riches stories. Never wanted to. It doesn’t appeal to me either. I’d rather admire the spirit that we live each day with. They inspire me…to live in the moment. We are a bunch of madcaps who struggle through life…we complain and we crib and we cry. But we manage to live life.  Mark my words please. Live…not survive.

I probably should have been working for a huge brand. Given all the expectations family and friends had from me. I have probably not been able to give my family a luxurious life. I can’t buy stuff at the drop of a hat. What the heck…we don’t even have a house of our own. The way that I am, I might not even be able to do it ever.

I write…and I dream. And I work for a cause. I don’t save money. I spend it instead in having a good time with friends and family. I don’t tell my family everyday that I love them, and sometimes I do wish that I was different…that I ran the race, spent hours at back-breaking work, carried home a huge salary and bought some happiness. No use lying to myself. Sometimes I do wish I was different.

But I chose to be selfish. And I don’t regret it always. I found my happiness within, in a lazier life. I realised I quite love being me. And this is me. I want to be someone. Someone a select few people are extremely proud of. And in very quiet moments when I look into their eyes, I see the pride that flickers for this ordinary girl who got left behind.

That makes my life worth living.