Home"less"ness...

This is the 28^th year of my life…and since I was born, I have lived in 8 houses. Yesterday, I moved into the 9^th one. Nine houses…and I felt ‘at home’ with only one or two…left one such behind. My life has seen a lot of changes, one after the other…and I am probably going through one such phase now. Where everything around me is changing, and probably, some people too – or maybe just their lives! This feeling of completely uprooting oneself from one place and moving to another every few years of our lives is quite unsettling.  It doesn’t excite me. I grow fond of a place and the next thing I know is I am adapting to new surroundings. Moving house changes a lot of things…the roads I walk everyday…the trees around me on those roads…the sky I gazed at through my window…the window where my windchime hung.   Every such event brings different feelings…sometimes excitement, sometimes lethargy, sometimes sadness, sometimes fatigue…and sometimes happiness too…but what plagues me most is an emptiness I cannot fathom.

I envy all those who have a place to call their own (even if they think coming out of their ‘comfort zone’ would bring the best out of them)…the heart always needs a shelter, even if it is a nomad.

A lot of things go haywire when we keep moving …a lot of things change…and it takes me quite a while to adapt to the changes…maybe that’s why I have grown averse to change…maybe that’s why I keep looking for a constant (though I know, that is never going to happen).