Not Easy - and Definitely Not Something You Choose

It's about what's happening inside the head, not the expression on your face.

Depression or anxiety are not excuses. They are traumatic. I wish they were as trivial as an excuse... as easy as being usable for our own selfish needs. They're not. 

If you've not experienced them, you wouldn't know how frustrating it is to run every single action over and over in your head and keep wondering why you did what you did. It is exhausting to live with the feeling that nothing is worth it. It is maddening to not have any control over your thoughts, words and actions. It is so difficult to fathom when you say there are larger issues in the world, graver problems, worse things happening. For someone who is depressed or anxious, comparison is the last thing that is comprehensible. 

It is not easy, spending every freaking moment of the day wondering if you're behaving weird. Especially when you know that the whole world is judging you... judging you, your tears, your moves, every single thing that you do. When you live with mental health issues, you do not know if you are overreacting or being irritating or too sensitive.

We freak out when we lose control over situations. Imagine losing control over your own self and continuously having to live with it, the shadow of everything you're doing constantly following you around. Your shell, the only place where you are comfortable with yourself, becomes a warzone.

Experiencing depression or anxiety is like fighting a continuous battle inside your head, its you against yourself. Trust me, that is not a place you would ever want to be.