The Battle Within. And With The Whole World.
How easy it is for abusers in this country to turn around and ask - what took you so long so report it? How easy it is to say - You are making it up. Its a publicity stunt. You're looking for attention.
You know why? Because of us.
Because we believe that people have an ulterior motive "until proven a victim."
I was repeatedly abused by someone in my family when I was 11. And after that, so many times on the road, in public vehicles, from unknown numbers and on the internet. Abused - by strangers, by people I trusted.
Tell me how I will bring you evidence of the instances, and I will bring them to you. I have blocked people, broken up abusive relationships, deleted their messages, changed my bus route and stopped taking crowded public transport if I can help it.
No, I am not reactive by nature. My first instance of abuse left me so traumatised that I still freeze when someone touches me inappropriately. I blank out, I don't know what to do.
Your coping mechanism might be different from mine. You may go silent altogether, you may hit back, you may take your perpetrator to court. You may speak up at the age of 15, or at the age of 40, or at the age of 75.
Time doesn't make you any less of a survivor. It makes your fight no less significant. It doesn't make you weak if you can never speak up.
It took a lecture on gender when I was in college to make me realise I was a victim of child sexual abuse. It took me years to transform into a survivor, and my journey isn't over. I'm still fighting the battle within.
Today, my perpetrator has the guts to turn around and say why have you been quiet for twenty two years? Why should anyone believe you? What is your proof? - I realise we haven't moved ahead as a society. We're still on the side of the accused and not of the abused.
We still put the onus on the survivor and not on the perpetrator.
There's a long way ahead. A really long one.
You know why? Because of us.
Because we believe that people have an ulterior motive "until proven a victim."
I was repeatedly abused by someone in my family when I was 11. And after that, so many times on the road, in public vehicles, from unknown numbers and on the internet. Abused - by strangers, by people I trusted.
Tell me how I will bring you evidence of the instances, and I will bring them to you. I have blocked people, broken up abusive relationships, deleted their messages, changed my bus route and stopped taking crowded public transport if I can help it.
No, I am not reactive by nature. My first instance of abuse left me so traumatised that I still freeze when someone touches me inappropriately. I blank out, I don't know what to do.
Your coping mechanism might be different from mine. You may go silent altogether, you may hit back, you may take your perpetrator to court. You may speak up at the age of 15, or at the age of 40, or at the age of 75.
Time doesn't make you any less of a survivor. It makes your fight no less significant. It doesn't make you weak if you can never speak up.
It took a lecture on gender when I was in college to make me realise I was a victim of child sexual abuse. It took me years to transform into a survivor, and my journey isn't over. I'm still fighting the battle within.
Today, my perpetrator has the guts to turn around and say why have you been quiet for twenty two years? Why should anyone believe you? What is your proof? - I realise we haven't moved ahead as a society. We're still on the side of the accused and not of the abused.
We still put the onus on the survivor and not on the perpetrator.
There's a long way ahead. A really long one.
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